Testikles (died 428 BC) was a Spartan pankratiast and Olympic champion. Known for his enthusiasm, passion, and love for wine and body oil, Testikles drunkenly fell from the pier at Kyllene, Elis in 428 BC shortly after arriving to compete in the Olympics.
Biography[]
Testikles was born in Sparta, Laconia, Greece, the half-brother of the mercenary Testiklos the Nut. He was close with his brother until they were separated for the forseeable future; Testikles went on to become an Olympic pankratiast. In 432 BC, Testikles competed in the Olympics in Elis, where he drunkenly made advances on the Pankration organizer Paios' wife and brother. In 428 BC, he was sent by his trainer Alkon to train on the island of Schiza, where he would be isolated to contain his violent temper, which had led him to get into a fight with six men and a bull while buying fruit at the market. The mercenary Kassandra was sent to transport Testikles to the Olympics, and she lured him onto her ship, the Adrestia, by promising to give him his favorite body oil once they arrived in Elis.
The sharks eating Testikles
Upon arriving in Elis, Kassandra, Testikles, Herodotus, and Barnabas ran into their old acquaintance Alcibiades, whom Testikles almost got into a fight with, after Alcibiades insulted his perceived stupidity. After an excited Testikles attempted to run towards his fellow Spartan Kassandra to embrace her, and a disgusted Kassandra stepped aside, a drunken Testikles tripped over a bowl of fruit and fell into the water, where he drowned and was devoured by sharks.
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