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Ivan Oranchov

Ivan Oranchov (died 1969) was a high-ranking KGB agent who supervised their Alcatraz base in the United States and their undergroung tunnel base in Great Britain.

Biography[]

Ivan Oranchov 2

Oranchov in the London sewer

Oranchov was a high-ranking KGB agent, and in 1969, he presented the threat that a supposed alien race, the Furon, had on the Soviet Union. He claimed that one, Cryptosporidium-137, had cloned himself after he died and had taken on the form of the US President, and said that a mothership was sighted over the USA. Oranchov gained permission to shoot a nuclear missile from Russia at the mothership, decimating it and sending its remains flying down to the city of San Francisco. He moved to the KGB base there at Alcatraz Island, from where he sought to direct the killing of the alien Cryptosporidium.

Oranchov was invited to the city by the hippie guru Coyote Bongwater, who sought to establish the "Bay City Super-Organic Communal Collective and Compost Farm". Bongwater wanted a revolution against "The Man" and handed out an elixir called "Revelade" to the people of San Francisco. Oranchov sought a revolution against the United States instead, and wanted to manipulate him into doing so. 

But it was not long before revelade blimps above the city were destroyed and Alcatraz cleared of Soviet presence, and Bongwater communicated with Oranchov via radio, who told him that he would have to destroy the city if he failed. Cryptosporidium 138 then killed Bongwater and his minions, and Oranchov left for his London base underground.

Death[]

Oranchov dead

Oranchov's body

From his base, Oranchov operated against Britain. MI6 man Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe sent men to smoke him out, and Oranchov fought with Cryptosporidium in his underground lair in the sewers. There, Oranchov shot a barrel of toxic waste and was mutated, and was only fixed when Cryptosporidium shot him with an anal probe. He was a human once more, and Crypto was able to incinerate him with an incinerator ray.

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